What a wonderfully honest statement of self-observation, desire, and potential you have created… Thank you, I am honored to respond…
As stated above “I wonder what we have when we’re not pretending.” Most of us, have created a persona of who we are to the world in response to the world around us. To make choices, of who we project as ourselves to others, as opposed to being truthfully ourselves in the moment. I know for me, I have spent much time playing revolving roles, for those who walk into my world on a daily basis. But if we want to start thinking outside the box, we must deconstruct, and pull back our connections from those around us that we are plugged into. To truly understand the connections we have made and what they are based upon.
In the book, “Illusions”… by Richard Bach. The Messiah’s handbook reminds us;
“If you will
practice being fictional
for a while, you will understand
that fictional characters are
sometimes more real than
people with bodies
We are raised to be fictional characters… Not because, those who loved us didn’t care. But because those who loved us didn’t want us to get hurt. Emotionally, Spiritually, Physically or Mentally.
So we were taught, not to express our truth, but to express only enough about ourselves, that will not brings others feelings of discomfort. In essence we lived for the outcomes and expectations of all those around us. As Marianne Williamson said;
“There is nothing enlightening about shrinking oneself, so that other people won’t feel insecure around you…”
So life has now asked you to remember, Oh yeah, I’m a part of the equation too! I get to take the leading role in my life. The problem for most people, as it is for myself, we have made some pretty major commitments… Marriages, Children, Student loans, Mortgages, and so on… So we feel stuck. How do we begin our lives, when we are up to our eyeballs in it?
Well, first of all, we must truly asses and accept everything we have created within our life. To be truly honest with ourselves about where each piece, we are plugged into, lies in relation to who we really are. Wherever life is for us, we have to take full responsibility for where it is right now. If we don’t, we have no power to change it. This is where brutal honesty with oneself is of utmost importance.
This starts to get a little tricky, when we are already in a high level relationship, as in marriage. When one person reaches this point of, individual-reality evolution, and the partner is not in the same space of growth, it can create quite the energy. Many relationships do not survive. Although some come into alignment, when there is a willingness to witness the growth of each other, as opposed to living in fear of the changes. Most partners choose fear… and the relationships unravel, people grow out of love with the other. Not because they do not love them, but rather because, the frequency at which they have the capacity to love, does not match anymore, which intern creates static.
So, the constructs of all false pretense and characters we have played, must fall away. For if we do not allow this, it will place us upon a path, that will slowly dwindle over time, our even knowing the difference between our fiction and our true self. You see this in many people’s eyes… especially with those who hold victim energy to life.
Carolyn Myss, one of my favorite modern-day mystics and healers, and others call this event, “The Dark Night of the Soul.” (Read or Listen to her book or workshop called “Energy Anatomy”, covering the fourth Chakra.)
This event was previously called, in our society, a nervous breakdown… Many people avoid this moment at all costs… to the demise of their own, individuality expression of Spirit. But to move into “Adult Maturity” levels of interaction, we must open these gates.
Many are fearful, that if they open them, they will drown in all the feelings, darkness and mire they have hidden for so long. To experience the release of our lack of self-worth situations, all of our abandonment issues throughout our lives, and every trust issue we have ever projected upon one another. And after we feel all of the emotions of every injustice that we believe we have endured… there is still one more piece to step through.
Owning up… To look at ourselves not as the victims of life… but to truly admit to ourselves when we have allowed our dark, Freewill Angel, to perpetrate all sorts of negative acts upon the world and those we say we love… To truly step into the space of forgiveness, for others we feel have trespassed upon us.
Most importantly… to truly forgive ourselves. To release all of our self-judgment and allow ourselves to move back to the space of innocence within ourselves. To feel the lightness of releasing such burdens and crosses upon our human soul.
Whew… Take a deep breath now…
Another Quote out of the Messiah’s Handbook, by Richard Bach. (If you haven’t read it Please take the time.)
“You are led
through your lifetime
by the inner learning creature,
the playful spiritual being
that is your real self.
Don’t turn away
from possible futures
before you’re certain you don’t have
anything to learn from them.
You’re always free
to change your mind and
choose a different future, or
SO once the dust settles and you catch your breath… you sleep for a few days and feel, for maybe the second time in your life, truly yourself again. To be in a point of creation, to choose to make choices that support the highest truth of who you are. It can be, quite exhilarating.
Last two points I would like to offer are these…
1) Do not waste time mourning what you believe you have missed… Or you will still be circling in the same place. Look at life, as you move through it, as the higher-self that you are. To look at every situation from a third person perspective. asking three simple questions, as you respond to what is opening up.
a) Why is this here now for me/ us?
b) What am I supposed to learn or get out of this situation?
c) What outcome, can I choose, that will serve all those involved in this moment of creation? (Usually the scariest one).
And lastly… For any of you who are reading this now who have had these thoughts, there is a wonderful book called; “the Journey Home.” a Kryon parable.This last little sharing is from it.
(These are my words and not quotes from the book.)
As you choose to step into your life, in which you plan to show your mastery, of becoming a mature adult,… you do have several tools.
The first is speaking from you. What this means is not playing the blame game, speak about what you feel when you experience certain moments in life. No one can argue what you feel and think for yourself. But they will argue all day if you point the cause at them.
You also have permission to utilize the Sword of truth… to cut cleanly as you wield the truth… Starting at times with baby-step truths and moving up the scale to full unabridged truths. IF you speak the truth cleanly you allow for quicker healing.
With the sword of truth comes the Shield of knowledge… To call upon all of your garnered experience in life, to express the wisdom that you carry, from every revolution you have journeyed around the sun.
And finally, you are endowed with the Mantle, or Armor of Spirit… To know that as you wield the Sword of Truth and the Shield of Knowledge, that you are protected by your own inner strength, and resolve, to settle for nothing less than wholeness from yourself and those with whom you share this planet.
As Marianne Williamson closed the above statement with;
“And as you let your light shine, you unconsciously give all those around you permission to do the same.”
My Blessings to you all and those you hold dear… In your hearts and in your shadows…